Two years ago I was facing teacher burnout.

It was a dark time. I was 15 years into a profession that I believed in, that I loved, and I had lost the joy. I found myself buried under teacher stress

I haven’t shared a lot about my experiences that led to starting Joy in Teaching, so here it goes.

Today the picture above came up on my newsfeed from two years ago. It brought back a rush of feelings. I remember this moment vividly. It was a Friday and I had just come home from teaching. My kids were 1 & 3 and had no idea of the heaviness I was feeling, the struggle I was facing, and I squeezed them tight and took this picture as a reminder to myself of all the joy that surrounded me, sad that I needed to remind myself of this.

What I was feeling and how it happened

I was frustrated, restless, full of anxiety, and stress. I carried it physically and silently as I continued to show up. The thing is I never stopped caring about my students or caring about giving my all. I sometimes thought, “If I could just turn off caring maybe I would be able to handle things better” and then I would think about how horrible it is for a teacher to wish they cared less.

There wasn’t just one thing that happened that caused my lack of enjoyment in teaching. It was the accumulation of many things. Years of advocating for my program while enduring cuts to funding, time and support. A lack of community interest and support. A shift in administration. Increased demands. Decreased benefits. Disconnected professional development. Lack of recognition from leadership. Really I could make a huge list here – I don’t feel the need to though.

It came down to a lack of resiliency skills.

I didn’t know how to not carry with me the stories, the behaviors, and the mounting roles I had to take on.

I brought it home with me, into my relationships and into my personal life.

There wasn’t, and isn’t, an open dialog about the stresses in the education profession.

I feared judgment.

Judgment that my feelings were mine alone. That it would be perceived as lack of caring, trying, or doing what needed to be done. A weakness. An ineptitude.

The truth is, I knew exactly what was going on and what it meant. I just didn’t have the skills to deal with it. After over decade and a half in the teaching profession, teaching kindergarten through graduate school, taking on a variety of leadership positions on the way, I was perched at a perfect position to recognize what was happening. Afterall I had witnessed it happen, silently, to countless colleagues throughout the years.

I was on the path to burn out.

I did the only thing I knew how to do

What I have discovered in both my personal and professional lives is that the 5-year process of earning my doctorate trained me to approach problems with an analytical eye. So, as I developed an approach to altering what seemed to be the inevitable stress in my teaching career, I used my experience as a researcher and academic.

As I began to research teacher stress and frustration, I also delved into teacher burnout. Strangely, there was comfort in the statistics because it confirmed that I was not alone.

It was during this dark time that I began to reach out to my colleagues. I opened up about my feelings and they did too – we shared stories, laughter, and tears. What I came to realize through these conversations was that my discontent with a profession that I still believed in, still loved, and wanted to find joy in again was not isolated. Educators all around me felt similarly.

How I saved myself from burnout

After studying and researching resilience I developed a toolbox of strategies that worked for me. I took solace in the fact that I was not alone and I used my new strategies and protective practices to reclaim my joy in teaching.

But, I knew it wasn’t enough.

Maybe it is because I am an educator. Or, a Ph.D. Maybe, because I went through it myself. Or, just that I have witnessed too many colleagues question their purpose or leave the profession altogether. But, I knew I had to take action.

Looking back at the picture in my newsfeed and knowing the mixed-emotions behind that smile I don’t really see any other avenue I could have taken.

Joy in Teaching was born.

I started Joy in Teaching as I left my classroom in June. With my first ever nerve-wrecking Live video that you can re-watch here.

The following August I started www.joyinteaching.com and kicked it off with this announcement here.

Since then I have worked daily to share resilience strategies, research, and inspirational and actionable resources with educators to help them build resilience, fight burnout, and reclaim their joy in teaching.

I am excited to reach even more educators with the new Joy in Teaching books that offer a research-based framework of action for educators.